1. |
Chameleon
02:17
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Today, I took a walk
And found my way to a place
That I just couldn’t believe
Was still standing
I had passed this location
On several occasions
But, had failed to come
To any sort of understanding
You see, there was nothing
I couldn’t tell myself that wasn’t true
On some level
There was nothing I couldn’t find myself believing in
That didn’t make sense
BREAK
I thought I’m a chameleon like that
But, is that all bad?
What do I have to do to put myself back together?
If only it were that simple
If only I could snap my fingers
BREAK
I spent a good deal of time trying to reason through my slumbers
I would sleep for hours on end
Just to realize I’m rarely ever rested
I’ve learned that some medications will make you groggy
They will make everything foggy
And all you can do is just deal
So, I’ve dealt with it
Knowing that there is no cure to my condition
I deal with it
Knowing that love might not prevail
It’s a long hard truth the way I see it
Not knowing what is the illness
And what is the medication
I have to put why faith in science
And do so every chance I get
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2. |
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Sure, I’ve been known to make things up in my head
Maybe it is what you think too
That my brain is unwell
That my brain is situated in hell
I don’t really want to write this
But, maybe you’ll start to get it
Maybe you’ll understand that mental illness comes in all flavors of dysfunction
I can do my best (and often do)
But, I don’t know about you
You make me nervous, you make me tense, you make me want to scream
Maybe it’s what’s in your genes
I don’t really want to write this
But, maybe you’ll start to get it
Maybe you’ll understand that mental illness comes in all flavors of dysfunction
BREAK
I gotta say I hate this
I hate telling you like I see it
For I know my way isn’t necessarily the right way
For I know I’m about to forget it
I’ll go on and do my best (as I’ve said)
But, I will file your distaste of me in the back of my head
What is it about you
That makes me cringe?
No need to answer
Everything's OK until I act “crazy"
Everything is OK until I act “crazy"
Everything's OK until I act “crazy"
BREAK
I don’t really want to write this
But, maybe you’ll start to get it
Maybe you’ll understand that mental illness comes in all flavors of dysfunction
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3. |
Taking It Slow
02:17
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He set out to find
A place for the two of them
To get together
He knew this might be his last chance at forever
There was his age that got in the way
There was also his disability
He just wanted to meet a nice woman
He wanted to marry
She was a kind person
An old soul so to speak
She had all the makings of “the one”
And he definitely wanted to see
Whether or not the two were compatible
And this date would reveal more of whether they might be
They each avoided games and knew that’s how it should be
They also knew that they had to open up with one another, to share
They had skeletons in both their closets
Reminders of other lovers
BREAK
No matter though
They were committed to doing the work
To finding out if their fortune was strong enough
To get them through
To maybe fall in love
And at last the two had their date
So many things to share and desires to copulate
That they decided ultimately to take things slow
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4. |
Not To Overthink
02:40
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There was never a plan
That was all that good and all that grand
I mean he did spend the money
But, he knew he needed to do better
He had a wife and some dogs
And it was fitting that he’d do his best with them
But, little did he know he needed to try harder still
And he needed to take care of his mental health too
It was always that way
But, advancements in medical technology made him better
It was unlikely he’d ever conquer his physical issues anytime soon
So, his mental health was key
He made it a point to try and get his act together
BREAK
And at right around the age of (insert a number here)
He became good enough at some things
To include getting on better psych meds
That his condition became better managed
He also became more aware of what needed to be done in order for things to improve
The trouble was that this man
Had such a difficult time staying awake
That giving his all looked quite a bit different
From day to day
So, he finally caught a break
He began not to overthink
And his days were spent reconditioning his mind
To those who can’t conceive
A change so noticeable in someone going through these things
You have to know it’s ongoing and it will never be easy for them
BREAK
But, life in and of itself is a gift
And you can never be so certain
Of much of anything
Except that you must try
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5. |
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Is it helping?
In spite of everything
Are you feeling better at all?
I guess I am and therefore I must continue
Down the path of right and wrong
“What’s right?” someone yelled from the corner of my mind
“It’s all wrong,” says the man with his axe to grind
There is no relevant way to show those who cannot see
There is no helpful way to position those who have no plea
One person’s fight is with the governor
Another’s fight is with Jesus
Still, it’s the President of the United States
Who wants to “see” us
It’s all a game
Life
There is no shame
Life
When will it be over?
Life
When you’re dead and gone I’m afraid
One person wants to see how this ends
Another wants to walk through their challenges
So they can all say, “hooray,
It’s over now
And time to rest”
BREAK
It just makes terrible sense to me
To my dying cry
This thing we call living
It’s not what anyone is doing
Except the rich and sometimes famous
We all have a shot at dying
And we will all get there
It’s just too bad they have to play us
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6. |
For The Rest Of My Days
02:52
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In the middle of the night
I woke up and saw the light
Not the glow from my nightstand
But, the torch that had been raised
For all my life
There was this beaming sensation
That struck me without hesitation
Someone cared enough
To show me the way
What was once me resisting
A path that had no meaning
Was now me saying “hello”
And welcoming the day
I can’t help but thinking
Had I been aware of this years earlier
That I might have avoided
All the loss and heartache
But, for one, I wasn’t ready
Nor was I capable
To see the sun shining
To watch it staring
Back at me
BREAK
There were all of these people
Burned out and washed up
That had the makings of a revolution
Down on their knees
But, was it satisfying
To stay there - so gratifying - to them
I ended up wondering
If they’d found their way
BREAK
And through it all
I found my path
To serenity and peace
And all of that
I found myself a model that I could follow
BREAK
I knew that if I’d kept on
That sooner or later I’d go on
To find a love that would last me
For the rest of my days
BREAK
I knew that if I’d kept on
That sooner or later I’d go on
To find a love that would last me
For the rest of my days
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7. |
The Power Of A Pill
01:55
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I awoke with the thought
That I would go to the kitchen and take my meds
I had decided the previous night that I would not be concerned with taking them ever again
They were the thing that helped me
That balanced me
And, not everyone had the chance
To feel good with medication
To do it, to make it their last stance
So, I made it a point to write about my meds in a song
This song
I decided that I was happy, all to happy to share
Medication has all but saved my life
It has made me much better
It has made me more aware
I’ll take my psych meds from now to infinity
Even though they have side effects
That can suck
I know I won’t live forever
BREAK
If you have a mental illness that requires you to take some meds
And you don’t
Then you may not ever get a chance to know
The power of a pill
Again, it sometimes sucks
But, you have more of a life with it
And that I do know
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8. |
Along The Dance Floor
02:12
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There was something
In the way she moved her feet
That reminded him of being
In an autumn meadow
She danced to her heart’s content
To receive a thousand stares
Of approval
She didn’t seem to have any troubles
All in all she was getting along
Moving from place to place
In a song
She was doing her damndest
And it showed as she danced
Along the dance floor
BREAK
There was hipping and hooraying
And all of those fancy little noises
Coming from onlookers
Who seemed to enjoy
Those dancing skills
She had been practicing
For weeks on end
Just to show off her skills
And she wasn’t trying
To find a man
She soon got back
Into formation
In line with the rest of the women Proudly moving
Along the dance floor
It wasn’t long thereafter
That she caught the eye of a man
Who had gone there
Just to know
If there were any women
Moving around for others to see
This man was a business man
Back from a business trip
And his eagerness you could tell
As he watched them all move
Along the dance floor
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Fat Boy Jamz
I write spoken word…
“You’ve put it out there for revelation and information. Reflection, too. I
appreciate this very much.”
“I love your message. I love that you're out here, with style and rhythm, telling it like it is, indeed!”
“I really enjoy your spoken word, it draws you in and makes you pay attention.”
Please support this indie music at fatboyjamz.bandcamp.com or patreon.com/FatBoyJamz.
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