1. |
Poetry In A Song
02:07
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This is for those who struggle incessantly
I love you
I write to my heart’s content
And I do this, being hell bent
On making a wonderful dent
In the things I talk about
I discuss concepts like mental health
Not to mention, to believe in yourself
And not in religious mysticism
I used to get by with my eyes wide shut
With wearing blinders and being dumb
But, not anymore
Not with how I see the world
If religious texts made sense
I would follow them as my guidebook
The good life is when you have everything to lose
BREAK
One more reminder
I’m aware that for me
That I may flounder
I may wobble
And I may waver
And all of that’s A-okay
My intent is to make sense of
What I can make sense of
My world and my life
Where I struggle to stay alive
Most days are better than some
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2. |
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I don’t like thinking in absolutes
I’m not bothered by all the looks
After all I am what some might consider - a warrior
I have been so very strong
And those days are now long gone
I’m no longer a child playing alone in my room
I gave up on my ninja ways
I traded in superheroes and figurines
For a life I just wish I could start over
If only the truth were in your hands
I’d say forget about all your plans
And stay with me, here for awhile
Instead I’m no longer alone
Taking on responsibilities and love
I don’t know if I can say it anymore clearer
I gave up on my ninja ways
I traded in superheroes and figurines
For a life I just wish I could start over
BREAK
I gave up on my ninja ways
I traded in superheroes and figurines
For a life I just wish I could start over
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3. |
Severe
02:04
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Severe
I wouldn’t have guessed it
By the way you handle your life
You give off a flair of having things together
But, there are symptoms that continue on in spite of me taking my meds
These are symptoms like paranoia and medication side effects
What’s the answer
I’m living it
To do my absolute best
In spite of circumstance
To give my all
And get out of this rut
I’m not there yet
And based on where I’m at and where I’ve been
I don’t expect to be
I have a lot of sleepless nights
The illness can kill me
That saying “it gets better”
Is not true in every instance
Sure, medications have helped me
But, I have a severe illness
BREAK
What’s the answer
I’m living it
To do my absolute best
In spite of circumstance
To give my all
And get out of this rut
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4. |
Break The Cycle
02:06
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While on my way home
I thought to myself
What my life might be like
If I hadn’t broke the cycle
Would I be depressed?
Would I be confused?
Would I be anxious?
I just couldn’t know any of this for sure
Would things be as grim as they are at times in the present?
I do know that I’m good with things right now
Regardless
BREAK
I’m good with my ways and behaviors
But, bad with change
I don’t do well with it
So, did I break the cycle?
Or did the cycle break me?
I know that I’m pretty damn philosophical
I view things with depth and am sometimes a bit scientific
But, all of this serves to protect me from things unknown
I can only assume that my life is better, having broken the cycle
Having broken it on my own
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5. |
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There he stood
Alone again
Alive but half scared
Of the mess he got himself in
He might go onto to find love once more
To find a life worth living
But, it’s not going to look like
Where he come from
There’s truth to the statement that nobody knows
And I assume you know this too
Nobody knows - so go on and live your life
Live it as if it were true
BREAK
There he stood
In love again
Alive and half assured
Of the situation he found himself in
It was all making sense to him
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6. |
No Matter What
01:21
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Today, I wrote a song
Complete with vocals and a backing track
Tonight, I’ll play that song
For a partner who supports me no matter what
Lately, I’ve been feeling sad
Wanting to push everyone away
Because I’m mad at myself and my friends
And everybody who is human
BREAK
It’s what I want to do
Say goodbye to worn out fools
It’s the new and improved me
I’m no stranger to controversy
But I know I won’t get it done
I won’t do anything except play this song
For a wonderful woman who supports my art
Who married me and loves me no matter what
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7. |
Out On The Dance Floor
01:55
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She gazed out
Into the crowd
Miles from where she began this journey
She was all about the relationship
With space and time
But, that was long before
When she was a nervous wreck
And found her life in pieces
Scattered on the floor
Little did she know back then
That there would be a redemption
For her and her tug of war
Feeling so insecure
BREAK
She reached out again
This time without the gin
That made her life
Such a complete and utter bore
Somewhere deep within
There was a sign that he was coming back home
That he was coming back for her
But, she wouldn’t allow it
She had time to figure things out
And she knew her future
That it was secured
With no room to argue
Her position was cemented
Where she now stood - a regular
Out on the dance floor
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8. |
Zero Power
01:33
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Every chance she gets
She goes on with him
Thinking this is heaven sent
But, having zero power to leave
How could she get stuck
In this way?
Wouldn’t she want
A better day?
Couldn’t she just find herself
Carrying on
Somewhere else?
But, it’s not easy to do that
She’s often alone and refuses all help
She’s found a new way of dealing with him
She’s snuggled up and believing in him
Until the next time
She goes on with him
He’ll same a few nice things
To make her believe in him again
BREAK
Until the next time
She goes on with him
He’ll same a few nice things
To make her believe in him again
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Fat Boy Jamz
I write spoken word…
“You’ve put it out there for revelation and information. Reflection, too. I
appreciate this very much.”
“I love your message. I love that you're out here, with style and rhythm, telling it like it is, indeed!”
“I really enjoy your spoken word, it draws you in and makes you pay attention.”
Please support this indie music at fatboyjamz.bandcamp.com or patreon.com/FatBoyJamz.
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