Personal Evolution, by Fat Boy Jamz

Personal Evolution

by Fat Boy Jamz

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1.	Cold Hearted Day 01:16	lyrics	buy track
I could have said it again A million times or more To defend my ways But, it was not going to matter On this cold hearted day Things were at a boiling point The news had begun to make its way But, how was I to know It was going to be A cold hearted day There was a reason for this madness On both sides A chance to make things better But, nothing else mattered through either’s eyes On this cold hearted day So, where do you go from here? Mistakes made on both sides Have us contemplating things At least from my standpoint It was going to be a cold hearted day Things might not let up And, I have given up The nerve to make things right again The frustration for me, at least On this cold hearted day.
2.	Some Encouraging Words 02:37	lyrics	buy track
I don’t know what’s best To tell someone I have mental health issues Or to let them take the test People often run From those who can’t relate Maybe it’s a shock to Find someone to make them want to stay Everyone and this includes the best of you Can use some encouraging words If you think I’m full of it Remember what you’ve heard Everyone and this includes the rest of you Can use some encouraging words If you think it’s bullshit Remember what you’ve learned I often recited affirmations As a way of strengthening My brain and my overall Sense of self This took me to places in my mind And in my life That pushed me To the core of understanding Everyone and this includes the best of you Can use some encouraging words If you think I’m full of it Remember what you’ve heard Everyone and this includes the rest of you Can use some encouraging words If you think it’s bullshit Remember what you’ve learned SOLO Everyone and this includes the best of you Can use some encouraging words If you think I’m full of it Remember what you’ve heard Everyone and this includes the rest of you Can use some encouraging words If you think it’s bullshit Remember what you’ve learned
3.	Truth In Sharing 02:30	lyrics	buy track
Truth in sharing What does it mean? Does it mean I’m about to divulge something So private, true, and mean? I’ve never met a person Who hasn’t found a way To express themselves so subtly Regardless of the day It may take some coaxing Some time to open up A chance to be more patient Will serve you all the luck This world was made for truthers And, those who take their time To figure out what make sense And, share it like old times There are people who never learned this How to be with those so free It’s okay though, no matter There’s always room for me
4.	Pro Treatment 01:45	lyrics	buy track
I’m pro treatment Hoping to find a way To get this monkey Off my back And, live another day I’m pro treatment As everyone has a chance Well, it might seem that way But, let’s not forget circumstance Some things are often laid out In no uncertain terms Some things speak very loud And, no one wants to learn I’m pro treatment Hoping to find a way To get this monkey Off my back And, live another day I’m pro treatment As everyone has a chance Well, it might seem that way But, let’s not forget circumstance There might be opportunity For those who know the time And others who live and breathe it And those that walk the line SOLO I’m pro treatment Hoping to find a way To get this monkey Off my back And, live another day I’m pro treatment As everyone has a chance Well, it might seem that way But, let’s not forget circumstance
5.	Failure For The Win 01:56	lyrics	buy track
Today, I failed I failed royally I know that’s a lot to take If you don’t know the story Failure is the only way to win It seems Failure is a certain type of Let’s call it an extreme Because to fail You have to have first tried In many cases, that requires A monumental stride Failure is the reason for the season As cliche as that could sound Without failure There would be no solid ground SOLO Failure is the part of me that I’m getting used to Failure makes me sick, makes me think And, makes me want to Do better the next time Try harder when I can Failure makes me do all the things Better than Super Man
6.	You're Liable For My Label 02:52	lyrics	buy track
There was a time in my life When everything was gray I’m not sure how I fought Or even made my way BREAK Without a label I have no friends With a label I have so many I can’t count them on one hand One or two is plenty A label serves me more than right A label tells me I’m okay A label shows me everything I want to cry today BREAK I’m making sense of mental illness No matter what they say I’m dealing with a fractured mind And, others just can’t convey BREAK Without a label I have no friends With a label I have so many I can’t count them on one hand One or two is plenty A label serves me more than right A label tells me I’m okay A label shows me everything I want to cry today BREAK Maybe there’s hope and maybe I’m okay I know I’ve had this talk With one or two doctors over the years Which helps to brighten my day BREAK Without a label I have no friends With a label I have so many I can’t count them on one hand One or two is plenty A label serves me more than right A label tells me I’m okay A label shows me everything I want to cry today
7.	The Messiness Of Spirituality 01:48	lyrics	buy track
There’s a thing I know And, it can only grow Not a relationship with the great beyond Or the final frontier or any of that But, an observation and love For the here and the now It’s been a long road Nothing new under the sun But, nothing old either Been there, done that And, out of respect for all those that do worship Regardless of your path I respect you for what you do For whatever reasons you may have Spirituality is oftentimes a bit messy SOLO All the things that take me back To a time when I was on the brink Of a natural disaster One that was on a personal level Again, if it’s all the same We can walk in different ways From searching for meaning To having found it Each and every day
8.	F.E.A.R. 01:43	lyrics	buy track
Just today, I came to an understanding of something A feeling that makes me think My advocacy and staunch beliefs about living Have all but made me see sick F.E.A.R. It’s not anything I would wish on my worst enemy As it interferes with most everything I do F.E.A.R. It’s not really a mystery in the midst of mental health issues There’s this sort of sad belief that surrounds me As I try and figure it all out Some things need to change on the inside But, love is without a doubt F.E.A.R. It’s not anything I would wish on my worst enemy As it interferes with most everything I do F.E.A.R. It’s not really a mystery in the midst of mental health issues SOLO F.E.A.R. It’s not anything I would wish on my worst enemy As it interferes with most everything I do F.E.A.R. It’s not really a mystery in the midst of mental health issues Yes, there’s an answer to these intrusive thoughts Dealing in loneliness, isolation, and despair Get on the home shopping network - Just kidding Hey
9.	What Do You Do For Fun? 01:37	lyrics	buy track
What I do for fun Has lately been making music I have other hobbies But, none so rewarding as making tracks There’s a certain innocence In doing this To write song lyrics And, make backing tracks I can’t say it’s all puppy dogs and roses But, it does get easier And, it does have its moments What do you do for fun? A question that some might ask Think long and hard for sure And, never take to task Those who do not like you And, those who want to hate There’s never been a better time For those who can’t relate I say, there’s never been a better time For those who do not hate
10.	I'm Doing Better Than I Know 01:12	lyrics	buy track
I suppose I can forgive and forget If only the forces at be would Let me do so But, it’s giving me this awful headache I’m doing better than I know A thought from not so long ago By a person who really upset me By ghosting me and not letting go What do you say when philosophy Gets the best of you And, making amends is all you Know how to do Something has to change I’m doing better than I know A thought from not so long ago By a person who really upset me By ghosting me and not letting go SOLO At some point in time There’s a breaking point A moment of freedom for both sides And, it didn’t have to be that way I’m doing better than I know A thought from not so long ago By a person who really upset me By ghosting me and not letting go
11.	To Stop Overthinking 01:19	lyrics	buy track
Is it possible to stop overthinking I’m not sure As I have to think about it Stop You’re overthinking If you want to get from A to Z You have to be forgetting Some of the thoughts that seem to enslave you For those are the thoughts That often make or break you In the end, it matters most how you lived Not the years in your life But, what you had to give Is important and not so necessary To take you there You will get there Just as you hoped you would You will find comfort and peace There will be a day of celebration But, there’s no time to feast
12.	I Can Do It (Yes I Can) 01:56	lyrics	buy track
I can do it Yes I can I can do it Even when I feel damned It takes a lot of work To find your way downstream You think it’s so damn easy But, no one has the key Except to say it’s hard work That puts you in that camp Except to say it’s not giving up When all you want is a bath How often do you Get to that place Where everything is perfect And, no one is disgraced I can do it Yes I can I can do it Even when I feel damned
13.	Schizoaffective Disorder - Bonus Track 01:37	lyrics	buy track
Schizoaffective disorder Tell me a little about it For me, my main thing is delusions And, no one gets afforded A true understanding Of what it is I go through It might not be possible When you don’t have the symptom It’s easy to stand back And, witness things from afar But, have you ever baptized yourself And, wrecked your father’s car? All on a bad day, my friend That will signify your end Something to get you excited about All the things you never did SOLO There’s so much to psychosis That I’m hesitant to share All the things I’ve been through For I know that most don’t care They have their own troubles Many, which don’t affect the mind Like serious mental illness does They haven’t got the time I’m sorry that it’s like that But, I know that caring is so fleeting Caring is the kind of thing That mothers are supposed to do
14.	Voices Of Hope - Bonus Track 02:09	lyrics	buy track
For me, I have only heard voices When I was under extreme stress Or duress At a time when things were particularly tough But, most people with schizophrenia Hear them rather regularly So, to me, what we all need are some Voices of hope Remember when you got that number? Remember when you made that craft? Remember when you did all those things As a child and never looked back? SOLO Well, looking back can be dangerous To a lot of our mental health But, looking back at awards day Is a reward in of itself There are so many instances That you should be proud of So many things that you have done That never get talked about If only others knew what you’ve been through If only others knew your hell You might gain respect from them But, then again who can tell? SOLO As I’m now known for saying Most people are inundated with their own lives So, there’s no point in believing Something that may or may not be true Other people care About as often as you know you do Other people stare About as often as you’ve been known to In the end, we’re a lot more alike Than we are different So, here’s to cheering up the part of humankind That wished things were better

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Thanks for listening.

—Fat Boy Jamz

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released September 25, 2023

Written and produced by Fat Boy Jamz.

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Fat Boy Jamz

I write spoken word…

“You’ve put it out there for revelation and information. Reflection, too. I appreciate this very much.”

“I love your message. I love that you're out here, with style and rhythm, telling it like it is, indeed!”

“I really enjoy your spoken word, it draws you in and makes you pay attention.”

Please support this indie music at fatboyjamz.bandcamp.com or patreon.com/FatBoyJamz. ... more